Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy 2008!

May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber and the I.R.S.


May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise. May New Year's Eve find you seated around the table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends. May you find the food better, the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.


May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them. May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues. May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish dinner, may the commercials on TV not be louder than the program you have been watching, and may your check book and your budget balance - and include generous amounts for charity.


May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings; but not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your hairdresser or your tennis instructor. And may we live in a world at peace and with the awareness of God's love in every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's smile, every lover's kiss, and every wonderful, astonishing, miraculous beat of our heart.


Happy 2008 friends!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Bahraini Terms

Yup it's another forward. It's all that I can post right now with college and stuff. Made me laugh, I hope it will bring a smile to your face.

قاموس أهل البحرين
orange juice عرنجوش هي من الكلمة الانجليزية
..وصارت كلمة تنقال لكل انواع العصير
لبلب : يقولون حق الشخص اللي يتكلم بطلاقة
سريده : بروده
تمبه : كرة
دون : قريب
قميظة : حسافة
مملوح : وسيم
زنجفره : فنيلة
أدناة الدون : اقل شي
ورا = ليش
قطه = أرميـه
hospital سبيتار = المستشفى و اعتقد انها يايه من
الدختر يعني الدكتور .. أكيد تعرفون
محيوب = ممنوع من شيء
ميهود = مريض
سقطه = حر
سهده = هدوء
ميوه = خضرة و فاكهه على ما أظن
بست = باص
قريظة : لها معنيين ( قليل) و ( بعد شوي)
انشد : اسأل
دويحه : دائرة
قلج = صعب
دندره : ازعاج
سحة : تمر
نيشان : علامة أو إشارة
قراده : حظ سيء
فرم : فرن
نحو الأمية : محو الأمية
نوبة الثانية : مرة ثانية
هالنوبة : هالمره
كشته :رحله
الللابله :عقب باجر
دهريز:مدخل البيت
كرفايه:سرير
دزدان:شنطه
كشمه :نظارة
قبقاب :إنعال الله إيعزكم
روشنه:حفره في الطوفه في غرفة النوم لوضع الأغراض
خرمس:ظلام
حزاه : قصة
إحبيبة : قليل
يزرط : يبلع بدون مضغ
هبيط : منخفض
نمره : رقم
بارظ : مزاج
قصله : قصير
بريج : ابريق
بيديو : فيديو
ambulance عمبلوص = سيارة الاسعاف و يايه من

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Men vs. Women

Men:
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the women leaves them.
7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others...

Women:
1. the most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you...

This fwd brought a smile to my face on this dreary work day. I hope it brings a smile to yours. Have a wonderful day!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Food Shortage Question- a fwd

Recently, a survey was conducted by the U.N. worldwide. The question asked was:
"would you please give your opinion about the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure because:

In Africa, they didn't know what "food" means.

In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" means.

In the Middle East, they didn't know what "opinion" means.

In South America, they didn't know what "please" means.

In the U.S.A, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" means.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

دعاء بحريني

A funny poem I got in an email:

دعاء بحريني

اللهم ارحمنا من من غرور الجيل الجديد..
وحرائق التايرات و الحديد
واستقصاد كل مدير.. وندالة القرايب والبعيد
الصغير منهم والكبير
اللهم أغثنا من كل تاجر عميل . ومن غلاء الماء والعصير
اللهم أرحمنا من زحمة الشوارع في كل حين,
ومن رجال المرور المجنسين
وسحب الليسن في كل كمين.. من الغلبان والمسكين
اللهم أهدى لنا سواقين الشاحنات
واصحاب الشركات و النقليات
اللهم ارحمنا من رؤساء البلديات
وهدهم لشفط المستنقعات والبلاعات
اللهم قنا شر المصانع والملوثات..
ومن غباوة المسئولين عن الطرقات
الهم انتقم من الجرائد والكتاب..
وهيافة الصحف والمجلات
الهم اجرنا من فواتير الهواتف والفاكسات
وقطع الحرارة فجأة عن التليفونات وقت الذروات
ورحمنا من مدارس البنين والبنات
ومن رسوم الكليات والجامعات
ووفق المسئولين عن الروضات والحاضنات
في تخفيض رسوم الدراسة والمواصلات
اللهم ارفع مستوى الدكاتر والطبيبات .
حتى يطمئن الشعب على روحه عند زيارته للمستشفيات
أو أرسل يارب عليهم صاعقة..
بدل ما يخلونا نموت ونتعذب في غرف العمليات
اللهم سدد أقساطنا .. ورحمنا من فوائد البنوك والبطاقات
ليتمكن الفقير من الاقتراض بدلا من التسول في الطرقات
اللهم ارزق العاطلين عن العمل ليعملو في الكويت وقطر
بدلا من يتعذبو في هذا البلد ولا يصبحو ثقلا على احد