Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you.....
President George W. Bush:
At a closed-door meeting with lawmakers Friday at a Republican retreat in eastern Maryland, President Bush warned that "I expect this conversation we're about to have to stay in the room." He quickly added that "I know that's impossible in Washington." It was, even more so than usual. The first few minutes of his comments were being piped inadvertently through an open microphone to reporters who had just been escorted out of the event. In his supposedly off-the-record comments, he offered a defense of his National Security Agency eavesdropping program.
Vice President of the USA, Dick Cheney:
Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot his friend in the face and shoulder while bird hunting on Saturday. A birdshot pellet that hit the friend has migrated to his heart, causing a "minor" heart attack, hospital representatives said on Tuesday outside the hospital where Whittington is being treated.
It would be hilarious if they both weren't so destructively dangerous.